Some sayings might be well-intended, but that doesn’t make them true, let alone easy to hear. Case in point: “You can’t find love until you learn to love yourself.” The people who come to me for help tend to hate that thought. “If I knew how to love myself more,” they say, “I would have started long ago. In fact, I wouldn’t even be in therapy if I had that figured out.” Improving self-esteem seems to some to be an impossible task. But each time, as we explore it together, sim

We are an “if only” society: “If only I were thinner, smarter, more popular, etc., then I’d be happy.” It’s easy to be tempted by this line of thinking. However, it’s not the lack of problems in our lives that matters, but rather how we respond to the problems we have. From terrible troubles (abuse and neglect) to relatively smaller ones (bullying or minor illness), and from huge stresses (divorce) to slight ones (traffic jams), some people are better at bouncing back from se